Why I do not celebrate World Mental Health Day.

STRUGGLE.

The feeling and the experience is not strange to any of us. I can’t speak for all of you, but I can speak for myself. I began my life with struggle, imagine a newborn baby, its tiny lungs gasping for air, its eyes wide with confusion. This is the beginning of life—a struggle. From the moment we're born, we're faced with challenges, big and small. Some of us may feel like we're alone in our battles, but the truth is, struggle is a universal human experience. Life begins with us struggling, we were not born to struggle, however. The line between the two is a thin one and is easily blurred.

I’ve faced a lot of challenges in my life, and it can sometimes feel like I’m the only one going through this. But it’s important to remember that pain affects everyone differently, and there’s no competition in suffering. We should simply endure it and learn from the experience. I have grown to realise that there is no metric or mode of measurement, and more often than not, I look back at what I have gone through and always pride myself in weathering the storm and being resilient in my silent battles.

The struggle is real

We often see “the struggle is real” used humorously, but there’s a serious side to it. Everyone faces challenges, big or small. Even though it might seem like a painful experience, it’s essential for growth.

While October 10th was World Mental Health Day, I didn’t feel compelled to join the online discussions. I’ve dealt with mental health issues before and dislike how they’re often trivialized. In Zimbabwe, mental health is often stigmatized and dismissed as an excuse to avoid responsibility.

Instead of jumping on the social media bandwagon and parade around like everyone, I did not feel like it this year. I have been through it before, I’ve struggled with mental health issues in the past, and it’s a deeply distressing experience. I dislike how mental health is often romanticized or dismissed. Many people view it as a way to avoid accountability, and these accusations aren’t unfounded.

No one is ever accountable for their own wrongdoing as the blame is levied on mental health which further hurts the discourse around it. I believe it’s important to approach mental health with seriousness and compassion, rather than treating it as a trend or a joke.

Side bar: I have had a personal struggle which I felt used to be romanticised or fetishised by my colleagues.

I got diagnosed as an asthmatic earlier on in life. My early childhood memories are scarred with how this illness prevented me from enjoying the little pleasures of life my folks indulged in. “Mvura naya naya tidye mupunga” - dancing in the rain, playing football on a cool windy afternoon, wearing strong colognes these are things I never got to experience earlier on in because I had this handicap on me, my asthma.

Now imagine my disgust when I would see a streetwise classmate tell the teacher that they could not take the cleaning duties because the were asthmatic or had hay fever.

Not much of a like for like example but basking in the seriousness of an issue like mental health without ever having made an effort to care about people in need of therapy, counselling or company is very hypocritical and the lack of self-awareness makes it very appalling. I don’t like how we get to pick and choose the mantra of mental health whenever we feel like it.

It seems trivial but in our selfishness, we never really think about what the real victims of said circumstances go through. This is why I don’t celebrate, “World Mental Health Day”. I feel like people make these days, as part of an act. To show that they are in tune with societal trends and nothing else. I haven’t seen a lot of people who take their time to ensure that their neighbour is doing okay.

We do not know the danger we pose by marginalising people’s pain and suffering by turning it into a trendy hashtag. Some stones are better left unturned.

When was the last time you told a close family member that you appreciate them? How many times this year have you gone up to your security detail and asked them how they spent the night, and asked to check in if the nights are kinder given that winter has passed?

Truthfully speaking, mental health awareness is an afterthought in our society. It is only relevant as a missing puzzle piece. We only care about it after we go through a suicide note or when someone dear to us is suffocating under the unrelenting clutches of drug addiction. That’s how we are as Africans, and this is who we are as a people. I am not here to change that. A man can do so much.

Our society does not accept that depression is real. Celebrating Mental Health day then seems satirical at this point.

Look I am not here to change the world, it can burn for all I care. What I have come to learn however is that struggle in any aspect of life almost always leaves you in mental warfare. Pain and stress are cruel in that they slowly turn us into individuals who are deep rooted in solipsism. When you are going through so much pain, it is easier to think that what you’re going through is unique. We are often left thinking that our struggles are insurmountable and that they are difficult to navigate.

No struggle is better than the other. The grass is greener where you water it

Everyone who envies their neighbour and tries to emulate their lifestyle in hopes of finding themselves in better situations always ends up with this painful realization. The grass is greener where you water it. I feel as though we want people to care about what we are going through whilst at the same time wanting others to fix their own problems.

I commend every individual who actively makes an effort to look out for the people around them. Even when done in silence, these actions do more to our society than a hashtag or random Instagram post.

A simple act to show a loved one that they are appreciated goes a long way in a world where every social media post is actively reminding us that we don’t have enough money or luxuries to mean anything in this world.

What has worked for me thus far, is sharing my situation with the next person and get a different point of view. In turn I have learnt to lend an ear to anyone who comes to me for help or solace on whatever it is they have been going through. Kindness goes a long way, and as I stand, I am a beneficiary of the generosity that people have shown to me.  It is only right that I do the same.

Until people actively start uplifting each other and being there for one another, I am going to take this stance and not celebrate Mental Health Day.

Take your time and be kind to those close to you, you can make their struggle easier to bear.